I can be a critic?? Right??

Yes I stole this image off Google and have probably infringed on some copyright laws 🙂

Ok so I’m actually not officially any food or restaurant critic, just your average “girl-next-door”, living in suburbia with my designer sunglasses, but lets be honest, we’re all critics! So after I had heard the mumblings & rumors on the street & in social media of the new fancy-pants, apparently R17 million something beach bar / restaurant called SHIMMY’S Beach Club, with its own private beach and heli-pad, I was eager to finally check it out when my mom decided to celebrate her birthday dinner with the family there

It must just be said that the staff, from the receptionist to the managers & waiters were all exceptionally polite, friendly, and efficient. One half expects to encounter some moment of snobbery at the new “it” posh-spot either from staff or other customers, but there was none of that. My mom was even nervous to ask at the end of the meal if they do doggy-bags, (I admit I cringed slightly), but what-do-u-know, they do!!

It’s a beautifully designed & decorated establishment, boasting a magnificent view too. Just a pitty you have to drive past I&J fisheries and ingest the fumes of rotting fish on the way there and back. I must also warn you, take a jersey or coat, as no matter how summery the day is looking, that ocean breeze is damn chilly, and unless you enjoy a nipple stand that could cut glass, like I did, you will likely need something warm, especially when the sun starts going down.

While on the topic of dressing, girls you don’t need to stress over the dress code…they might have spent quite a few million making the place look posh, but it seems any style goes from jeans & tee’s or shorts, to designer dresses & heels.

Now for the important part…the consumables…

I was a little surprised that drinks on the deck are served in plastic cups, but then we saw dolphins leaping out of the ocean right in front of us and I quickly forgot about that.

photo-001The Atlantic breeze, my killer nipple stand & lack of a warm enough jersey eventually forced me to go and seat myself indoors at our dinner table where I eagerly browsed the menu and accompanying prices in anticipation of retardedly inflated prices. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions, but for me i found it not too bad in comparison to what i had anticipated.

Your average main dish (and we’re not including the crayfish or oysters in this assessment) is around R140 without any side accompaniments like chips / salad / veg. We’re talking like a piece of fish or a rump steak, thats it. Then you select a side dish separately which is around R30. So for an average meal you could have at the ocean basket or Spur, albeit not in this luxury setting, you’re in for about R170 min, before you’ve ordered any drinks or wine. Was it that much better? I had the grilled Sole, and I cant honestly say it was much better than the Ocean Basket, maybe just slightly less oily, but at the Ocean Basket they give you 2 fishy’s here you just get one… with no chips. But there was a lemon butter sauce with it that was out of this world, I’m still drooling at the thought of it now. My “side” of sautéed potatoes was also excellent and beats those Ocean basket chips like a 100 to 1. The menu is extensive and there is everything from Sushi, Pizza, Pasta, Steak, Fish, Salads, Soups, Crayfish and Carpaccio’s to mention but a few. This was the view from our table.

Then there was the Milkshake menu… see the descriptions in the attached photo. These look amazing, and I thought fairly in-line with prices you’d see at Hudson’s, my current favourite milkshake Spot. I would’ve loved to try one but it wasn’t going to mix well with my wine or cocktail so that I look forward to testing out on another visit.


The bathrooms

photo-002Now, especially if you’re a woman, no critical assessment is complete without a “reckie” to check out the bathrooms. I can only assume the person who styled the bathrooms is not the same as who styled the rest of the place which was very modern and tasteful. It was a clash of old-world antique’s, outdated marble tiling and ostentatious big brass framed mirrors. It felt contrived and not in sync with the rest of the restaurants decor which was very natural, subtle earthy toned and minimalistic, a far cry from the image and ambience the restaurant exudes.

We all did agree though that the chandelier was lovely, but the greenish-bronze plastic basins were just bizarre. I mean this attempt at classic old-school vibe with marble and antique brass frames but then this modern, somewhat NASA space designed basins.

What were they thinking? superman? Krypton? Power Rangers? can people who design please learnt to pick 1 theme and stick with it? The soap dispensers & hand dryers were pretty standard issue corporate stuff, no special touches there. They should go visit the Roundhouse bathrooms and have a look at the attention to detail and overall natural ambience captured there for some tips on how to bring the element of naturalness and luxury together to offer a more pampered and personal experience.



Apparently there is a whole upstairs VIP section with very posh bathrooms I’ve been told, but i think you need to arrive in your own helicopter to qualify to go up there. This venue also boasts a kids play area managed by trained au pairs and equipped with great educational toys so you can even drag the kids along if you can’t find a babysitter, and happily get sloshed while the kids are safe and entertained.

My birthday is in a few days time and I’m thinking of possibly hosting drinks at sundown there. I enquired about booking a table in the bar-lounge, but apparently that will set you back a mere R50 0000… Umm, ya no, maybe not. My friends can stand!

I look forward to returning on a nice hot sunny day with my cozzy, and take a dip in the beautiful infinity pool, then soak up sunbeams on the beach recliners while sipping one of the deluxe milk shakes 🙂